Carta quemada de mí para él

Cada vez que respiro, la idea viene a mi cabeza…

Es necesario que escriba esta carta para ti

¿Cómo explicar el motivo que hace que se me vaya el aire?

Es tan simple y tantas palabras vienen a mi mente

¿Acaso sabes que tus ojos hacen que pierda la razón?

Y cuando escucho tu voz, entonces ya no hay salvación

No es un ardiente deseo el que me mueve

Sino una suave brisa que mece mi alma

Una dulce cadencia que me embarga

Es un apacible amor que me mata…

Es tan simple lo que siento…

Pero me cuesta tanto decirlo

Eres un sueño que antes no había tenido

Eres la eternidad que quiero pasar contigo

Eres la caricia que sostiene mis manos

Eres la historia que sale de tus labios

Y la que quiero escuchar por siempre

Al final, creo que es simple y lo puedo decir

Eres el hombre del que estoy enamorada

Y esta es la carta que nunca leerás…

Antes, voy a quemarla…

In love

I am in love with you

I breathe and everything comes to me.

The feelings, stuck in my throat…

The beatings, from my heart, through my head, piercing my soul…

My mind is clear to you and it is closed to myself.

And every night your image haunts me…

And during the days you haunt me too.

And I believe I could spend my days, my weeks (my life!) loving you

And I believe I could forever listen to your voice

Holding your hands and caring your cheeks…

Creating our own story.

I am in love with you

And it feels like I will always be…

Deal

Now, it’s clear to me

I cannot ask you for what you cannot give

But let’s make a deal

I have a lot to give

And I want to give it to you

Cause you make my day bright

And you make my heart beat

Cause your eyes are like light

And you light my dreams

All I have is for you

Cause you are all I need

Let me be yours

It doesn’t matter you cannot be mine

Let’s make this deal

Let me give you all of mine

Let me love you, my sweet star

Let me write all these songs

Telling you all about my love

Let me kiss your lips

And let me drown in your arms

Let’s make this deal

You have nothing to lose

And I have everything to give…

Bloodlust

Levanté los ojos y entonces lo vi.

Su olor me había atraído aún antes de poder mirarlo.

Pero tenía miedo de mirarlo. Ya sabía que sería mi perdición...

“Buenas tardes.”.

Su voz era melodiosa. ¿O es que mi mente ya estaba totalmente perdida? Mojé mis labios sin separar los ojos del monitor de la computadora en donde tecleaba… o al menos pretendía teclear.

“Buenas tardes.”. Sin estar segura de mi propia voz, continúe. “¿En qué puedo ayudarle?”.

“Busco al Licenciado Martínez.”.

Traté de no despegar los ojos del monitor. No deseaba verlo. La sangre me palpitaba en la sienes y la vista se me nublaba.

“Su oficina está por allá. Me parece que está en su lugar.”.

Mi voz era segura… o al menos eso pensaba. Sentía su mirada sobre mí y sentía que no podía soportarlo. Continúe con mi trabajo como si nada pasara, como si en realidad no me extrañara la presencia de este extraño.

Cuando se alejó hacia la oficina del Licencia Martínez, sólo entonces, me atreví a levantar la vista…

No era un hombre muy atractivo pero había algo en su aroma que me estaba volviendo loca. Su voz también tenía un tinte encantador que me perturbaba. Mojé nuevamente mis labios y traté de contenerme.

La mente me daba vueltas, sentía que me mareaba. No, no, debía contenerme. Pero su aroma aún flotaba suavemente a mi alrededor. Mis ojos fijos en el monitor de la computadora miraban sin mirar, todo borroso ante mi vista y aún más confuso en mi cabeza…

No podía decidir si quedarme donde estaba o levantarme y alejarme. Nadie me extrañaría si me desaparecía unos minutos. En el turno nocturno, no pasa demasiado. Casi nunca pasa nada… Hasta el día de hoy, que llega este extraño…

Y el extraño se demoró un par de horas en salir. Fue suficiente para que recuperara un poco la calma.

Pero su aroma aún me perturbaba y cuando flotó hasta a mí de nuevo, entonces supe que no tenía más remedio…

Nadie me extrañó en los minutos en los que me desaparecí. No tomó demasiado pero para mí fueron unos largos instantes llenos de placer…

La carne destrozada por mis dientes, su dulce sabor tan delicioso como el suave aroma que emanaba de su piel.

Su sangre oscura, fluyendo por sus venas desgarradas. Su corazón tan fuerte perdiendo fuerza…

Pero sobre todo, su intenso sabor, que me enloqueció aún más que su aroma…

The lioness desires

Eithne's, not me but my beautiful lady vampire, thoughts, desires, about his, not mine, beloved Karel...

Well, it has some of my own thoughts and desires, of course...

------------

THE LIONESS DESIRES

Now, let me remember the first time I saw his eyes…

I should have known I was lost and I was going to be forever lost.

And every time I see him, I know it is fine being lost.

I remember the way he looked that first night, oh so long ago, and how I forgot about everything else and everyone else.

I still forget everything every time I see him. The way he smells, the way he looks, the way I feel attracted to him. He is as perfect as the first time… He is getting perfect with every year.

His long black hair, his sweet green eyes, his fair skin…

And how much I desired him that night, how much I desire him even now.

I cannot describe how I tremble when he gets closer. I become a fool girl when he is around. My mind is numb, my body aches, my hands shake.

I want him and I love him.

He is my sweet dark prince and he has such power over me…

He was my dream and he is a dream.

And how much I desired him that night… And how much I desire him right now…

My sweet Karel, with his sweet body and his sweet lips…

He can take me, he can tame, he can break me, he can use me…

I would bite him, I would tear him apart, I would love him…

Now, let me feel him… against my body, inside me… Oh, so inside… Deep in my heart…

Sleepless

Late at night
When sleep won’t come
Lying awake
So conscious of me
I fix my mind
I know what I want
What I cannot have
My body desires
My mind dreams
My hands defeat
Late at night
When I give up
So conscious of you
I set my heart
I know what I need
What I cannot touch
Your body, desired
Your mind, dreamed
Your hands, defeated
Late at night
When I think of you
I know that you are
The one that I want…

The end and the beginning

This year is about to end...

Well, I usually don't care if a new year will begin but today is different.

I think my feelings and emotions are crazy right now and this is may be the reason for wanting to write these words.

I want to be brief so here I go...

This year events were important, even if I believed them normal. Not in a particular order:

1. I met Roy Khan at Helsinki Airport and attended to 2 Kamelot concerts.
2. I attended to (other) 4 Pet Shop Boys concerts.
3. I visited Europe twice! Now, that's crazy even for me.
   
4. I walked 10 km in almost 2 hours, which seems like impossible in this life.
5. I met a wonderful man who reminded me the emotion of love. I know he's not for me but who cares?! I'm pretty excited about him, my heart is beating again and that's all that matters.
6. I worked on unfinished affairs with some other guy and finally everything is in place.
7. A very personal event that I thought never was going to happen. It wasn't perfect but it was what I needed.
8. I'm thinking more in what I want and not in what others want or think of me. I'm following my insticts or at least I'm trying.
   

There are bad things in this year too. But not that bad:

1. I couldn't make it to Norway because of the volcano disaster. I missed 2 Kamelot concerts.
2. Work has been messing with my mind and my life. It has taken away many things from me.
3. My health is not in its best shape. My body needs a break and I need to take care of it.
4. My mind is also sick. My mood changes, from good to horrible, I feel trapped. It needs a break too.
5. My writing has stopped. I have written some short tales and poems but my novels just don't come.

And finally, what I want to do next year:

1. Run 10 km. Not just walk them I want to run them!
2. Get a tatto. I'm such a coward. I'm scared of needles but I hope I can make my mind and do it.
3. Have a break. Well, I want to stop working for a while and go to some place to find myself again.
4. Write. One of the most important things for me in the lasts years. I need to keep writing and give life to my beautiful characters.
5. Improve my health and lose weight. Need to do something about my body. It's tired, needs a break and needs a doctor. And this will be my first attempt to actually lose weight. I'm not happy anymore with the way it feels and the way it looks.
6. Find my Karel. Meaning? Find the man who can stand me! LOL
7. Improve in my job. I want to take the next step. I don't love my job but this is someting I really have to do.
8. Draw limits. I don't want to be absorbed by my job. I let it happen and now I'm trapped. I need to cut this ill relation with work.
9. Change my hair color and maybe use wigs. I want to change my hair color to purple and other color. And I want to try a wig, just to know how it feels and how it looks.
10. --- ADDED: I would like to buy a reflex camera and learn to take photos with it.
11. --- ADDED: I would like to perfom in some way. Theatre or something in the street.
    

That's all.

I feel so much better after writing these words. When I think of something, it is great in my head and disaster in reality. It sounds good once I have written it.